Saturday, 17 December 2011

Introducing Milly

We would like to introduce a new member of our family - Milly!

No, we haven't had one of those "I didn't know I was pregnant" experiences, she's our adorable new puppy!



We're currently on holiday in Canada, but this is a photo of her before we left, helping Nicky with her packing.

She's 18 months old and is a labrador/staffie/whippet cross. She has great traits from all those breeds - very strong like a labrador, very people-oriented like a staffie so she loves her cuddles, and very fast like a whippet!



She loves the mirrored wardrobes in our bedroom and can't quite work out where all the extra dogs come from!

She's visited us a couple of times and stayed overnight before we left to go on holiday, and she's moving in permanently the day we come back. We can't wait, we love her already!






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Location:Vancouver,Canada

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Change of plan

Thankfully we're not still waiting for my cycle to start as it still hasn't appeared (I have PCOS so this isn't that unusual), in fact we're not actually waiting at all at the moment. We decided in mid October that we were going to stop the process with the ACU and hold off for a while. It just wasn't feeling right for us as a couple to do the IVF route the way we'd planned it.

Nicky has always wanted to experience pregnancy, and whilst she isn't against adoption she knew that she wanted to give birth to our first child if possible. I've always known that I wanted to adopt, and would have been very happy not to have any birth children (although I am excited to see Nicky go through pregnancy and birth). We were talking about this and doing some research online at the same time, and somehow we came across the concept of embryo adoption. The more we looked into it, the more each of us felt that it might be the right way to go for us. We've made some initial enquiries, and although it's not covered by the NHS (it's actually not available in the UK at all as yet as far as we can tell) it seems affordable for us to go to a clinic in Spain, which is a bonus!

We know that we definitely want to get married before starting a family (apparently it's my job to buy the engagement ring and plan the big romantic proposal, so I'd better start saving!) and now that we're no longer under the restrictions of NHS waiting lists and treatment times, it definitely feels a lot easier. This time next year we could be married and expecting!

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Waiting

We're still waiting for my cycle to start this month, so that we can make an appointment at the ACU. I'm not regular, but over the past year I've been more regular than any other time in my life, so I wasn't too worried. It might just be because I'm so excited and nervous for it to come!

I gave them a call anyway, and they said that if it doesn't start by the end of next week, we'll just go ahead and do the scans and tests to see what's going on. Hopefully everything's ok!


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Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Needles!

We're in our new house! The move went really well, and we've settled in quickly. We're still missing some key items of furniture (like a dining room table, or any furniture in the study whatsoever!) but we've unpacked as much as we can, and it's really starting to feel like home.

The day before the big move we received a letter from the ACU in the post asking us to give them a call on the 1st day of "the woman's" next period, so that we could make an appointment for ultrasound scans and blood tests within days 2-5. We assumed that this would be referring to Nicky, but one slightly confusing call to a very helpful ACU receptionist lady later regarding intra-partner egg-sharing, we established that the blood to be tested and organs to be scanned are mine! Eek! I don't do very well with needles (this is putting it lightly), but the way I see it, if I'm asking Nicky to go through pregnancy and labour and all that goes along with that, I can handle a few jabs.

My cycle isn't regular, but I'm expecting my next period to start in about two weeks or so. I don't think I've ever been so excited and nervous for "Mrs P" to come in my life!

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Saturday, 13 August 2011

Who's the woman?

We were both getting a little impatient as our appointment letter still hadn't arrived, so Nicky rang the ACU on Monday to see if she could find out how long it might take. They said that we would need to fill in a questionnaire before the appointment could be arranged, which would be sent out within a week. It came in the post on Thursday, and we were both really excited to fill it in!

It was a bit confusing as the main form was split into two halves - one for the "woman", and one for the "man/partner". The whole referral is in my name so we didn't know whether I was supposed to fill out the "woman" section, even though Nicky will be be the one to carry our baby. The guidance notes weren't very helpful, but in the end we decided that Nicky would be the "woman". It seemed more appropriate as it was asking questions about the regularity of her period, her most recent cervical smear results and any past pregnancies, however none of it really addressed our specific situation - that we would like to use my egg. Surely they will need to know these sorts of details for me too? I guess this will all be discussed at our first appointment. The additional information seemed to indicate that we will also need to go for a counselling session to talk about the implications of conceiving a child using donor sperm, but this might be geared more towards heterosexual couples, we're not sure.

There was another form that we each needed to complete, asking questions about any concerns we might have about the welfare of any child that were to be born as a result of treatment at the clinic, due to issues in the family or environment. Thankfully we have none!

We posted the completed and signed forms back to the unit today, so we'll hopefully receive our appointment letter in the next few weeks. We've got a Royal Mail redirection set up already, so it won't matter if we've already moved before it arrives as it will be automatically forwarded to our new address.  I really wish we'd taken a copy of the forms before we sent them back, as neither of us remember all the questions that were on there and it might be interesting to look back on, but maybe we can ask the Unit for a copy later on.

We went house hunting at the beginning of the month and managed to find a really lovely three-bedroom house with a low-maintenance garden perfect for outdoor dining and growing herbs and vegetables for the table. It's perfect, we can't wait to move, especially after all the riots that happened in London this week - no-one is asking us why we want to leave the city any more! Nicky will be able to walk to work, and I'll be using the smallest bedroom as a study to work from home.

Less than two weeks until Moving Day!

Sunday, 24 July 2011

All change!

We're still waiting for our appointment letter to come in the post, but we do have some news - we're moving out of London at the end of August!

We'll be moving to a semi-rural area of the West Midlands, which is closer to family, and will allow us to have a much better quality of life. For pretty much the same rent as we pay for a tiny studio flat in London, we'll be able to afford a 2-3 bedroom house with a bit of a garden.

It all seems to have happened at just the right time - we'll have settled into our new life in the countryside by the time we get our first appointment at the ACU, and we'll have the space at home to start our family in the future. Plus, I'll be working from home for the majority of the time, so we can get a pet!

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

Referral!

Nicky and I went back to the doctor for a follow-up appointment this morning, as he was very honest on Friday and said that he had no idea what fertility options were available on the NHS for same-sex couples. He needed some time to speak to colleagues and find out exactly what the guidelines are for our borough.

He began by saying that he was unable to refer Nicky as she's too young - the guidelines say that she needs to be at least 23, and coincidentally her 23rd birthday is in September - but he can refer me instead! We're referred as a couple, but the referral itself has to be in one of our names so it doesn't matter that I don't want to be the one to carry the baby. He weighed me to check that my BMI is under 30, which it is, said that we would receive our appointment letter in the next week or so, and that was it!

Our appointment at the Assisted Conception Unit will be within the next 18 weeks, which is about mid November, and then treatment should start in the next year. They'll do tests to see what would be the best option for us, but normally the NHS will fund one round of IVF or three rounds of IUI apparently.

Still a long way to go, but it's so exciting that we're in the process! I can't believe it's starting!

Friday, 8 July 2011

The beginning

To our Baby,

Our family started today, the moment we stepped into the doctor's
office. We've been talking about you to each other for years, but this
is the first time we've told our doctor that we would like to start a
family. We were both a bit nervous, because we weren't sure what the
doctor would say, but he was very nice and smiley.

We explained to the doctor that we wanted to take one of your Daddy's
eggs, and put it into your Mummy's tummy to grow until you were ready
to be born. He asked us a few questions, and we arranged to go back
and see him next Wednesday to have another chat. It might not happen
that way, but you will be just as perfect to us, however you are
created.

We want to get married first, so that you have a stable, legal family
to be born into. We'll show you the photos of our wedding day, and you
will see how much love our family already has to share with you.

One day, we would like to give you brothers and sisters to play with,
and you can tell them how lucky they are to be in our family, and help
us to teach them everything they need to know.

We can't wait to meet you!

We love you already,

Mummy and Daddy xxx